1. Regard any time spent at home as potential work time. Snatch any moment you can to slot in that extra bit of work, especially at the weekend or late at night. Remind yourself often that your work is never done.
2. Don’t even think about taking a break if you feel tired or have lost concentration. Keep ploughing on regardless, so that any chance you have of achieving something positive later in the day is minimised.
3. Give in to distractions. If you do start to feel you are working productively, that’s the best time to take a break and do something exciting like getting out a box set.
4. Allow, even encourage, interruptions from family and friends. Let them know you are available to chat or do favours for them at any time. Respond immediately if a non-work related call or text comes in.
5. Alternatively, avoid all contact with the outside world. Stay in the house on your own all and every day. A sense of isolation and claustrophobia is great for dulling creativity and raising stress levels.
6. Resist the temptation to set out a timetable, targets or plans of any kind, that way you won’t know if you’ve failed and won’t feel constrained to give undue attention to important tasks. However, do invest a few days in researching some really good productivity and time management apps. Download them all to your computer and mobile devices and set them up carefully. Never open them again.
7. Prioritise housework over paid work. Conduct a good clear up every day but only in the rooms you don’t intend to work in.
8. Stay in your pajamas if possible, don’t shower or brush your hair or teeth. The more slovenly you feel the better.
9. Remain seated for as much of the day as you can, preferably in an uncomfortable position. Don’t stretch or move around unless absolutely necessary.
10. Make a point of working in surprising and impractical places around your home – the bathroom, amongst the washing up in the kitchen, inside a cupboard or half way up the stairs would all be ideal. Poor natural light and a draught will contribute well to your discomfort.
11. Always keep your work area as cluttered as possible. No need to clear away household detritus or pets.
12. Don’t feel you have to eat during the day, but if you’re really hungry choose cake. Avoid drinking water when working at home.
13. Take care not to maintain or update your equipment so there’s a good chance it will break at a vital moment. Invite others to borrow and mistreat your most frequently used equipment.
14. Rest assured that any time spent on social media is a valid marketing activity. So have your personal Facebook and Twitter accounts set to ping every time something new appears. Seek out online controversies and join in.
15. If all else fails and you still feel in danger of working at home successfully, go seek out another member of your household and engineer an argument. It doesn’t matter what it’s about as long as it stops you focusing on your work and drags on for a good while.